By Kimine Mayuzumi
I am sitting here thinking about one of the best naps I had last week with my partner next to me.
You know when a nap is really good? It is when you’re unsure of where you are when you wake up. I call it a power nap. It could happen even for only 13 minutes. Feeling refreshed and energized, I would feel called to spend my precious rest of the day with what I want to do.
Many people take naps regularly around the world. Some benefits have been discussed. Naps can “reduce sleepiness and improve cognitive performance” (Lovato & Lack, 2010). While napping is not for everyone, it turns out those who enjoy napping generally benefit from it (National Sleep Foundation). I am one of them. Naps are a good friend of mine!
But, it wasn’t always the case in the past. I went through some non-linear stages in terms of how my relationship with naps has shifted since my youth – from being an occasional and unintentional day-time dozer to a rebel against napping, and now a regular napper.
Let me share the three non-linear stages of my relationship with naps, so that this might inspire readers to review theirs and improve it, if they want. I also share what the shift of my attitude towards napping means after all.
3 stages of my relationship with naps
Inemuri
There is a Japanese term for somewhat unintentional doze, which is inemuri. It literally means “sleeping while present”. I was pretty much a part of it in my youth. I fell asleep where I was not supposed to – in public or while taking classes or studying.
As a high schooler decades ago, on the train going back after school, I sometimes fell asleep if I was lucky enough to have a seat at the corner. One time, I even missed my stop and worried my mom who was waiting to pick me up.
I would also go to a public library to study during the summer break. After lunch, I was too sleepy to concentrate on anything. So I placed my head on my arm pillow on the desk and actually fell asleep thinking, “just 10 minutes….” So it was a little more intentional than dozing in the train.
The point is that I was napping when my body was loud enough to force me to rest. I surrendered.
Resisting
Growing up in a lower-middle class of the workaholic culture, I also internalized the toxic work ethics of sacrificing my body being acceptable for what I should get done. I used to think napping was for weak people including small children, sick people, and elderlies. I didn’t accept myself as a “young and healthy” person practicing regular naps.
My resistance also stemmed from my scarcity mindset. As the phrase “I’m behind” was the motive for me to keep moving, napping was the last thing I would do in my mind.
Knowing my slow reading ability as an international student, I used to think I couldn’t afford a nap. Being a mom of small children and writing a dissertation and/or academic papers, I would say to myself: “I should use any spare minute to get things done!” I didn’t choose to lie down with my baby during the day even when I was exhausted.
Not only did I think napping was a waste of time, but I also believed that it would affect my sleep quality at night. I admit that, as a result of refusing to rest, I would often become cranky and take things on my family by raising my voice just before supper.
Embracing
There was a gradual process for me to become an intentional regular napper. Being with my partner definitely planted seeds for me to eventually fall in love with naps and even write about it. He advocates for adequate sleep for everyone, especially for our kids. My aging body also teaches me my limits and better sense of where to stop to rest.
The journey with our Being Lazy and Slowing Down mission has also led me to fully embrace it. The more attuned I became to my own body while proclaiming that body matters, the more compelling the power of napping turned out to be.
Nowadays, I nap at least a few times a week. In the early afternoon, I lie down on my bed with the timer set for 20 minutes. Most of the time, I fall asleep just fine and get my battery recharged. It keeps me going for the rest of the day without being cranky.
I intend to show up in meetings with blissful energy, which a good nap can usually generate.
Reflection
In public discourse, while Inemuri is oftentimes a sign of one’s sleep deprivation and/or diligence that might draw sympathy from others, (intentional) napping could be that of slack and laziness. The discourse analysis could be a topic for another post. Reflecting on both experiences of my Inemuri and regular napping, I am now proud to say that I am a regular napper rather than a hard-working day-time dozer.
I am aware that napping is easier said than done, especially for those who are under tremendous pressure to get things done or responsible for other’s lives. In fact, once in a while, I can’t fall asleep. Even though I lie down hoping to benefit from a nap, all the thoughts or emotions emerge. I become too anxious, too nervous or too excited to quiet my mind and drop off .
Pausing fully enough to fall asleep during the day requires one’s body and mind to be calm, relaxed or extremely tired. For that, some practice or genuine permission from oneself or even their trusted ones might help.
One of my academic clients recently revealed that she had not been a napper at all. She joyfully shared that she had accepted and even embraced napping once she started practicing it during the summer. We celebrated the fact that she managed to integrate the desirable habit into her life.
I don’t deny my privilege that allows me to pause in the early afternoon. However, as I wrote elsewhere, slowing down (like napping) is not a privilege but a choice when it comes to one’s wellness. Trisia Hersey, the Nap Bishop, advocates that “rest is resistance” against the cultural addiction to productivity that has marginalized certain populations.
Now that I review my napping experiences, I realize that this discussion is not only about napping per se, but also about how much my relationship with naps has shifted as a parallel with my way to check in with and nurture my being rather than doing. Discussing sleep in general, John Kabat-Zinn (2013) says:
Your relationship to sleep and to all the hours of the day and night is a very fruitful object of mindfulness. It will teach you a lot about yourself if you worry less about losing sleep and instead pay more attention to being fully awake (p. 477).
I think my transformation, especially from resisting napping to embracing it wholeheartedly, was worth writing about here. My intention and act of napping is a reflection of how much I lean into the signal of my physical and mental state so that I can be fully awake as a human-being. Therefore I celebrate napping.