By Kimine Mayuzumi
Fear
Fear has always been an essential companion to our lives. It tries to defend us from given threats. Fear caused by a traumatic event brings us the energy stored for emergencies to the front and creates our hyperarousal state so that we can quickly deal with the event or minimize our risks. So there is nothing wrong with holding onto fear.
What I learned and tried to practice in the pre-pandemic was: you shouldn’t let the companion, Fear, drive your car or even hold a map in the passenger seat. Instead, you should keep it in the backseat so that you can thrive with your challenges, creativity, dedication, passion, etc.
However, during this pandemic crisis, Fear is taking over the front seat not only to protect me and my family, but also to control the way I conduct my life. As a consequence, I might constantly keep the fight-or-flight mode on, lack quality sleep, cringe and get stiff shoulders, feel unsettled and agitated due to my lacking sense of control, and exhaust myself both physically and mentally. While I acknowledge the surge of Fear in me (or in my metaphoric vehicle) and tell myself that it’s OKAY to feel that way, those behaviors and feelings don’t seem healthy or sustainable.
Different Susceptibilities of Fear
To be clear, I cannot or don’t want to generalize fear for everyone. Susceptibilities of fear vary from person to person depending on their experiences, physical, social and economic locations/conditions, and their particular circumstances. Now even when a common threat is the dangerous virus, there are different types and degrees of fear due to different circumstances. For example, during this crisis, there are those who have lost their jobs, have difficulty paying bills, have to take care of their small kids, etc. There are so many on the frontline who are fighting the COVID-19 or helping victims by risking their own lives. Who knows? I might become a part of the group one day.
But for now there are also many other people who are not a part of the group, including myself. This post is for the latter – those who: 1) have a shelter, food on the table, and their family being safe and sound so far; 2) those who want to let Fear sit in the back of their car being not too loud but calm on a regular basis; 3) those who are aware that excessive fear can make them forget all the habits and practices they tried to implement for a guilt-free holistic life that centers self-care; and 4) those who have realized that such fear, instead, has allowed all their not-to-do habits and limiting beliefs they tried to replace in the past to become alive and active again.
My Realization
After the stay-at-home order came from the governor of Michigan, I gradually started realizing more and more that Being Lazy and Slowing Down is important in my daily life. I mean our central principles that come underneath the title: Be mindful, Trust the process, and Let go of outcomes. It is about how well I engage with what I am doing and whom I am with at the moment while I keep fear in the backseat. It is a new challenge.
Now that we as a family stay together at home almost all the time, I want to enjoy their company, instead of being distracted by my work or news frequently. I also need to pay more attention to setting boundaries between my work, family and personal needs. A writing ritual is even more essential since writing has become a huge challenge because of a variety of reasons like distraction, unstructured life, feelings of inadequacy, child care, sense of isolation, worries about my families abroad, inertia, etc.
11 Selected Blog Posts
Here I would like to share 11 blog posts that I select now – the unprecedented time full of fear and uncertainty. I am hoping that these posts will become resources and reminders in such a context – more specifically while working from home. When I read through our past blog posts once again, many of the messages are so relevant still and could be even more salient now than when I originally wrote/read. What I absorb through the reads feels new and even different from before perhaps due to the context differences.
For readers to pick a topic more easily, I categorized the blog posts into seven: writing, rituals/meditation, technology/online activities, planning, family, slowing down/self-care, and recovery/adjustment.
Writing
For those who have difficulty in concentrating on their research or writing.
Why Today (More Than Ever) You Need Writing Rituals? 5 Reasons by Riyad Shahjahan
Navigating Distractions and Resistances While Writing by Riyad Shahjahan
Rituals/Meditation
For those who are exploring ways to calm their mind (before writing) and be in the present
5-Minute Guided Meditation before Writing by Kimine Mayuzumi
What I Learned from Slow Walking by Kimine Mayuzumi
Technology/Online Activities
For those who want to reflect on their ways of using technology and want to be more mindful
Towards a healthier relationship with online activities: 5 useful tips for using technology by Kimine Mayuzumi
Planning
For those who want to set boundaries while working from home and have quality weekends
This is How I Rescue My Weekend by Kimine Mayuzumi
Why I Recommend Weekly Planning on Friday, Not on Sunday by Kimine Mayuzumi
Family
For academic dads who want to reflect on their fatherhood
Dear Academic Dads: 5 Recommendations from A Faculty of Color by Riyad Shahjahan
Slowing Down/Self-Care
For those who might have difficulty in slowing down in their mind and need more self-care
What Happens If I Don’t Slow Down?: 5 Consequences by Kimine Mayuzumi
Is Slowing Down A Privilege or A Choice? By Kimine Mayuzumi
Recovery/Adjustment
For those who feel behind in their work due to their circumstances
How to Ease Back to Work After Being Sick: 5 Lessons Learned by Riyad Shahjahan
We can keep this type of conversation going through our upcoming Slowing Down Circle, a small support group that helps participants implement good practices (e.g., habits and rituals) and positive mentality in their daily life with resource share, accountability, and encouragement. Our spring 2020 session will start on April 16, 2020.
Featured Image by PNGTree